Monday, March 17, 2008

What a day

A few weeks ago I had a really bad day. Jack Bauer asked me to postpone blogging about it and for the sake of OPSEC, some facts have been altered. Otherwise, this is the post I wrote at that time, including my standard beginning of "yesterday."

Yesterday, well, it was just not my day. Started off with having to "deal" with a difficult person via e-mail, then got into a tense discussion on a sensitive subject with friend, all before I got out of my pajamas. So I started the day on edge.

I finally made it to work, late. Started e-mailing with Jack Bauer, when he sends a message saying they just had a rocket attack close to where he was; casualties unknown.

And then nothing for 25 minutes. He comes back with a short message that there were only minor injuries.

And then again nothing for about an hour. I cried for that hour. I cried so much that 10 hours later my eyes were still hurting from crying.

Jack was alright. But this is not all that dissimilar to the incident that happened in the fall. Back then, I complained I couldn't cry about it. This time I cried and cried. This difference this time I think has to do with the fact that I do not think of him as being in all that dangerous of place, well, at least compare to where he was. At his last assignment, I think I had an enormous barrier in place to deal with this kind of thing. But once he took the new assignment, and I settled in to the day-to-day officeness of it all, I let that wall down.

More stressful work-related stuff came at me later in the day. I did what I could and left early.

On my drive home, I reflected on what a tough day it had been. Then I realized I was sitting in my very comfortable, warm car having just left the grocery store where I didn't worry about whether I had enough money to buy what I needed and I was heading home to be greeted like a rock star by two wonderful doggies who were inside my warm and safe house filled with so much abundance. And you know what, the day didn't seem that bad after all.