I was over at Spouse Buzz where AWTM has a post up about reunion and reintergration that will be discussed on Spouse Buzz Radio on Thursday. In a comment, AWTM mentioned that "intrusive thoughts" will also be discussed. And that got me thinking.
Wow. I used to have those. Let me start by saying that intrusive thoughts are those little crazy thoughts that just pop in your head. We all have them. (Actually, my comment seems a little insensitive about being "messed up" and I apologize if I offended anyone.)
Intrusive thoughts become a problem when they cause anxiety (in my case), or when someone decides to act upon them. They are part of OCD, which I have some characteristics of, but never fit enough for a diagnosis.
For me, years ago when I was at the big job still, I was having intrusive thoughts frequently (maybe a couple times a week) and I was very worried that I was going to act upon them. My psychologist at the time assured me that I would not. But he up'd my meds. And that did help. They stopped coming as much. They did not increase in frequency when I went off my meds.
I still have them when I am feeling really stressed, but now I am convinced that I will not act upon them.
Oh and just what were these thoughts of mine? I am only sharing because I think it might help just one person feel better. So here are the 3 that I remember, years later.
- Rip off all the Margaret Furlong angels I have hanging on the wall and smash them.
- Drive my car into the cement barrier on the freeway while I am going 55+ miles per hour.
- Take a kitchen knife and slit my cat's throat (uh, yeah, that is really scary shit; even today, it makes me cry!!)
So there you go. If you are having thoughts like this frequently, tell someone who can help. If you don't have a therapist or doctor, try Military One Source. Of course, you can always email me.
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