Season 2

Coming back from a week-long vacation is a major bummer. Lots of little daily things to get back to, like laundry and grocery shopping. And thinking about getting the house ready to sell. But we did together, um, except for the laundry, which I have gladly turned over to Jack Bauer.

After errand running, we got a little organized then had hamburgers and roasted red peppers. Yum!

Then we watched the season premiere of Army Wives. I had tears in my eyes for the entire show. I found that fact to be interesting mainly because I don't recall having that much emotional attachment to the show for the first season. I think the tears come from (besides the good writing of the episode) letting my guard down now that Jack is back.

But some of the tears I think is the coming back to together with some of my battle buddies, the characters that represent different aspects of me, of all of military spouses, that I completely identify with. As we sit in the comfort of our living rooms, relaxed and logical, I am sure we all know that 2 men in civilian clothes at our doorstep means something other than they are there to tell us our husband is dead. But their confusing presence isn't much comfort when we are all worked up with worry in those first days of the first deployment. And some days those pajamas are the only comfort we can find and hanging out in them all day seems perfectly reasonable. It is wonderful to have friends who will point out the obvious -- like the Army will tell you if something has happened to your husband so no news is good news -- and snap you back to reality, even if it is just for a little while.

I didn't watch last night's episode alone. Jack watched too, but it was difficult for him (although he did mention that the uniforms looked pretty good) I think seeing the what Roxie was dealing with. But I completely identified with it. I doubt I am alone on that.

Read Andi's take on the episode over at SpouseBuzz.

This deployment brought to you in part by ...

I think it is time I thanked all the people who helped me through the whole 28-month, 5-day separation that was this deployment.

• My wonderfully supportive parents, who made several trips out here to help me, who answered all my phone calls and listened to me whine and cry, and gave me great advice when I needed it.
• My sister and nephew, who liked to entertain me with weekend morning phone calls.
• Jack Bauer's parents, who gave us such a supportive gift, the depths of which are beyond words.
• The BFF, who always listened to me and distracted me well, and her family who treated me as one of their own.
• The vet, who helped me through going from a 4-kid family to a 3-kid family, operated on the kids, saw us through a couple of crazy doggie illnesses, waived his fees on more than one occasion, always asked how Jack was doing.
• The ladies at Three Dog Bakery, who always told me about the doggies calling in and complaining that they weren't getting enough treats.
• The therapists, gosh, I learned a lot about myself.
• The pilates instructors, who taught me that exercise can be fun and funny and who pushed me to the next level.
• The ladies at the Origins counter, who taught me a lot about make-up and got me having fun with make-up again and taking better of my skin.
• The super secret boss for listening to me much more than any man I am not related to ever should and for giving me a great opportunity to expand my career horizon.
  
• The doggies for keeping me grounded and keeping it all so real. (Easily could write a book titled, "Everything I ever needed to know I learned from my dogs".)
  
• Jack Bauer for being the greatest husband I could ever wish for, for listening to me, for putting up with all my spouting about (and adopting some of) my self-improvement, for willing to grow with me, for willing to communicate with me, for willing to be himself when it could have been easier to shut up and shut down.
• And, of course, you, my readers who have opened me to a new world of virtual support and sisterhood that is more tangible than anything else I have encountered, offering me words of encouragement, for laughing and crying with me. Thank you, my friends.

As with most thank you speeches, I am sure I missed someone. There are so many people that touched my life of the past 2+ years, good and bad, but I have learned from them all, and to me, that's what matters. For that is how I got to be me today.

There's no place like home!

He made it home.

Oh, happy day!

T-1 hour

We went from waiting and waiting to hurrying and hurrying.

I learned abotu 4 hours ago that he was coming home tonight. And now I just found out he'll be here in 1 hour rather than 2.5!!

Gotta get dressed! My life is about to change. :D

CONUS

Jack Bauer has officially made it to the US.

Now it is on to his demobilation station. He is dembbing by himself. We don't know how long it will take; hopefully just a few days.

Then he'll be home.

And this whole deployment will be done.

A shift

A noticeable shift has happened in the last few days.

I'm not sure how else to describe it. Small things, barely perceptible to me. But enough little things to make me notice. Things like noticing that the grass is greener. (OK, yes, it is spring, but you know what I mean.)

I'm finding myself wanting to do things that I used to all the time when Jack Bauer was home. I've begun listening to more music. I want to pull out my camera, which has been sitting neglected in its bag hardly used in the last 2 years. A lightness is emerging.

I think this must be me starting to exhale.

Riding High

As this deployment is winding down, I am riding an incredible high. It is fantastic! I feel great. Unfortunately, I seem to be hitting a wall of sleep every night at about 8 PM. Oh well.

But I've got great energy, great spirits, and even the woman at work with the 2-week-old hacking cough isn't even bothering me.

Other things contributing to this high: I paid off 2 more credit cards in the last 2 days. Woohoo!

For now, I'm just going to enjoy the ride while I've got it.

"It is harder or easier?"

That's what Jenna asked in response to my post yesterday about Jack Bauer's impending departure from Iraq.

And the answer is:

Way, way easier.

In fact a month ago, I was thinking I would be stumbling across the finish line, maybe crawling, feeling like I would just give up and be a pile of mush when he gets here.

But right now, I feel fantastic. I've got my sexy little airport outfit all set to go. I'm getting my haircut and colored next week. I'm super busy at work. I'm super busy thinking about all of the next steps we are doing and selling the house. And I am still trying to do things that are good for me (e.g., yoga, pilates, eating well, meeting up with girlfriends, getting enough sleep). I think these last few days are going to fly by.

So for me, yes it has gotten much easier. Much to my surprise.

Fingers not toes

I can count on my fingers the number of days Jack Bauer has left in Iraq.

Just fingers, not fingers and toes.

And not my fingers and toes AND doggie toes and noses and tails.

Just MY fingers. :D

Why hadn't I discovered this sooner?

Normally the TV is on at my house, but the volume is down so low that I can't actually follow what is going on. That changed when my dad arrived. It might has well have been HGTV or the Military Channel the entire time. Mostly it was HGTV.

Now, you would think that with an impending move and this old house, I might have been watching HGTV this entire deployment, but no. Never really occurred to me. I am not really a house fixer person. That's why others are trained in these things. But nonetheless, the home improvement channel was on for the last week and on full volume. So I watched.

As it turned out, the sound might as well have been down because I wasn't really listening anyway, I was mainly just looking. Did you know that there are a bunch of hunky men on HGTV? Man, I should have been watching all these fix-it-yourself shows if only for the sexy carpenters, like this Carter Oosterhouse here. And who knows, I might have been able to avoid calling the Magtag repair man.

Just one more thing to note for the next deployment. :D

The LAST card

I have been pretty good about sending cards to Jack Bauer. Usually 3-5 a week. Lots of postcards, quote cards, blank cards, cute cards, love cards, funny cards. I am sure there were some repeats in there. Some simple, just saying hello. Others deeply profound. All dated. I hope to go back through them some day. Sometimes I'd have him tell me what I wrote since it had usually been a couple of weeks by the time he got them. I liked it when I was surprised by what I wrote. :D

But yesterday that all came to an end. I sent the last card. I bought the last batch of cards a couple weeks ago. After having been on the constant lookout for cards for the last two years, suddenly stopping seems odd.

Just another slow, small adjustment. And another step closer to him actually being home.

Softball

Heh. Nice weather here is Middleville yesterday.

I finally started back to my beginning pilates mat class. On my way home, there were some men out playing softball. That made me think of this post back in January when I couldn't wait for softball season to start. I guess if it gets bad in the next few weeks I could drive by with my windows rolled down and catch some of that testosterone floating on the air. Heh. We are down to just a few weeks, so I doubt that will be necessary.

But as I drove by the playing field and saw the men pitching and swinging and running, I thought about how silly -- that good silly -- I have been about missing Jack. And I giggled the rest of the way home. :D

P.S. Like I said yesterday, emotional rollercoaster. Just wait 5 minutes and I am sure to read something that will make me cry.

On crying

I remember a time last fall when it seemed that I couldn't or refused to cry. Well that wall has come down. I am pretty sure I have cried everyday for the last week. I slowed down my work and my eyes opened up and dripped down my face. Tears of joy at friends' husbands coming home. Tears of pride in the human spirit watching The Lord of the Rings. Tears of frustration of things not going my way.

From the sounds of it, I am experiencing something pretty normal. That this last month or so is tough for many of us. An emotional roller coaster I think someone called. Well that's me. At least I am aware of it now and know that I am not the only one. I might as well try to enjoy it for what it is.

Just one more sign of it being close to the end.

Gremlins vs. Angels

Monday I ran my Sunday errands. Grocery shopping, pet store, etc. I came home to a cluttered counter and placed a few bags on the stove, ran back out to the car, and came inside and dropped my load on the floor in shock. Moo had jumped up and accidentally turned on the front burner. It was still clicking, flame on high. Luckily, I had not placed anything on THAT burner.

Once I assured myself that I did not burn the other bags, I cried a good hard cry muttering "Thank you Jesus" over and over. (Um, I am not really the type of person who goes around muttering "Thank you Jesus" over and over. So this really got to me.)

Yesterday afternoon a little bird reminded me that I had attempted to burn down the house before. That got me thinking about deployment gremlins that come and do bad things around the house and otherwise mess up life while the spouse is gone. I am sure I have had my fair share. Actually, if I wanted to, I am sure I could come up with a long list of them.

But I'd rather think about all the times where my deployment angels have been watching over me. Times I am aware of, like this past Monday, and times I will never know about, like when I take a totally random route to some place I always go (I like to think that those are the angels making me avoid an accident).

Thinking about deployment angels rather than deployment gremlins certainly makes me feel like I live a blessed life, even during the more challenging times.

Guess What?

You know what today is?

It is the first day of April.

You know what that means?

That means Jack Bauer is coming home next month!

:D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D

Got cheese?

I am in a seriously whiny mood.

I just want this whole deployment to be over.

I just want to have my house be perfectly immaculate and ready to sell and have a buyer lined up.

I just want there to be enough hours in the day to do yoga and pilates and walk the dogs.

I just want my day job to go away.

I just want my super secret job to give me everything I need.

I just want Jack Bauer to be home to talk to, to hold, to snuggle, to just be with.

*Sigh*

Ahhhhhh. That feels a little better.

Spring has arrived!

Yay!! Spring has sprung.

The daffodils are here! The daffodils are here!

The grass along the highways is beginning to bloom yellow.

You know what that means?

Not much longer until Jack Bauer comes home.

:D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D

Dear Doggy Daddy

Moo and Bear couldn't sleep the other night so they got into my stash of postcards to Jack Bauer and wrote him a note. I was kind enough to mail it yesterday. Here's what they had to say:

Dear Daddy,

We can't wait any longer for you to get home. Mommy only gave us each one special treat for Easter! Although Moo did help herself to a 1/2 can of fat-free refried beans!

Love,
Moo and Bear

What a silly bunch of doggies. We are all so excited for Jack to be home soon.

(Note: Bear would love to play in that much snow. He wouldn't know what to do with himself!)

THE last coffee shipment

I did it. And I am done.

Yesterday, I sent out the last shipment of coffee to Jack Bauer.

Now, I am officially retiring from the care package business.

Well, at least for this deployment go round anyway.

Enjoy, Jack Bauer. You've got 5 pounds of Highlander Grogg coming at you.

Another step closer to the end

Another measure that it is getting close to the end of this deployment thing ... the end of the Super Hero stamps.

I have been using Super Hero stamps to send cards to Jack Bauer. First, USPS came out with DC stamps and now they been using Marvel series. I love the idea of using super hero stamps to send cards to my hero. :D

But I am just about out of them. In fact, I will use up my last one tomorrow.

So who is the last super hero to be sent to Jack? Why Captain America, of course. :D