You don't want to be an appliance in this house

We moved in to this house in early October. And since then it has been bad news for appliances. I just need to recap this for myself because it is an amazing string of unfortunate events. Let me start by saying this house was built about 4 years ago, occupied by the owners for about a year, then occupied by at least 2 other families.

October: Garbage disposal broken when we moved in. The disposal had a huge crack in it. And it was not the original disposal in this house. This should have been a sign of things to come.

November: Shower head has less than half the holes working.

December: Oven/stove is so off on temperature we have a service man come out to adjust the temp. That doesn't work, but he does convert the oven to work with propane instead of natural gas, even though it hadn't been done originally and had been burning improperly for 4 years. That was just 4 years of carbon monoxide leaking into the house. Oven/stove still sucks ass. There is no low setting on the burners and it cannot be adjusted. Now the broiler drawer is falling apart. :D

January: Dishwasher stops working while we have company. Takes landlord 10 days to get someone out here to replace it.

February: Refrigerator filter light comes on. We replace it with the exact same model and it leaks for about 3 weeks, but eventually works fine. The filter light never goes off. Latch breaks in the closed position on the largest windows in the house that provides great cross ventilation; landlord opted to do nothing; fortunately it was too cold most days to open.

March: Jack gives up on his computer. It won't stay on for more than a few minutes at a time. We make do with just one computer.

April: My Kitchen Aid blender dies. No replacement. New shower head becomes so clogged half of the holes aren't working, and the previously pleasant rain shower is turned into stingy darts; cleaned out with a bottle of CLR run through it; now works almost as good as new, but not. I thinking there is a hard water problem in this house.

May: Cuisinart coffeemaker self-clean light comes on. We clean it. It dies just over a year after it was purchased. Replaced immediately. Our cordless phone handsets start dying. Jack attempts to reformat his external hard drive to work with the Mac; he loses everything on it, meaning tons of stuff from Iraq that was only on that drive. Jack attempts to reformat his mega iPod as well; loses everything on it. Our only computer falls out of the back of the car after our last trip to SoCal. The base is cracked so the battery is popping out.

June: Found a tool to open latch on large window. Get great cool evening breeze again! Yesterday, the sliding adjuster on waffle iron received as Christmas gift less than 6 months ago breaks off, but it looks like it might still work, for awhile.

The TV and accessories seem to be working fine. The washer and dryer are sufficient. Water heater works very well. Heating and cooling systems are working. Oh, wait. We haven't yet turned on the AC this season. I'll let you know if that goes. I can't lose my cool!

It has been a difficult 8 months for things in this house. It is so ridiculous that at this point, we are taking bets on what will go next. And just for fun, we are planning on renewing the lease in October!

Wanted: Carpet Steamer

You think I can rent a carpet steamer on post? We've had, um, a few accidents around here. (Poor poochies. Poor BW.)

Where do you think I should start my search? Jack Bauer said something about Self-Help and MWR Rents. Has anyone done this?

My inner domestic diva

With just a couple of weeks left until I return to working full-time, the domestic goddess in me is showing her head. I have completely resisted being a housewife. Really. I don't enjoy housework. The tediousness of ordinary cleaning and maintenance don't interest me much. Sure we could couch it in terms of taking care of my family, but that doesn't really make it any more interesting for me.

We've had a few areas where stuff from moving has sat mostly untouched since it was dropped off more than three months ago. Even having company over didn't inspire me to do anything with it. Yet, the idea of staring at it for the next two years while I am working seemed to kick my butt into gear. The two boxes in the bedroom are now gone. The miscellaneous kitchen items in the room for which we have no plans (aka the formal living) held the items for which we had no plans. Yesterday, in a fit of domestica goddessia (a very rare condition), I made some snap decisions about what stays and what goes.

But that is not the half of it. I did laundry yesterday as well. That, in addition to patching the bigger nail holes and getting rid of all the gold paint in the bedroom (two coats of Kilz) and putting up one coat of pretty blue paint and then changing my mind about where the paint is going to go. Oh, and I made dinner from scratch.

If I can muster a few more domestic fits, this house will great shape by the time I start work.

Back to work now.

The MOST difficult paint job EVER!

I am declaring the job done. For anyone considering repainting a 3x5' room with a 12-foot high ceiling with two different colors of paint on opposing walls and the ceiling needs to be painted as well and there is a large immovable object in the room (e.g., a toilet), you might want to seriously think about whether you can live with what is already there.

This was by far the most difficult paint job I have undertaken. But it is done. And worth it. The entire room, ceiling included, was bright purple. And a poor paint job to boot. (It looks like purple paint was spilled while doing the job as there is paint smeared on the baseboards.) The closest color I can describe it as is the color used in the title of the latest Military Spouse Magazine. The. Entire. Room. That's a lotta color for such a small space. I even cleaned up the purple off of the toilet itself.

Now while I am relieving myself I can look at a nice sage colored wall in front of me with cottage white to my sides.

With the worst of the paint situation corrected, I can now move onto getting rid of the gold paint in the bedroom. The entry cove, including the outlet covers, and the archway into the bathroom (not the same on both sides mind you) are gold. Then there are the three foot-wide gold stripes of gold painted along one wall. It must have been painted by the same incompetent painter as the commode. It is sooooo uneven and that which is supposed to go to the baseboards and ceiling does not make it all the way. (It's called tape and an edger, people!)

Have a mentioned the sponge painting in the formal living room that doesn't go all the way to the ceiling? As in there are about four feet of wall above where the sponging stops. Who does this in a rental house?

OK. I'll stop my bitching. Maybe I'll take some before and after pics of the bedroom project.

A New Vet and Another Interview

The doggies and I are off to visit the vet on post this morning. Both are overdue for a couple of vaccinations and Moo has a been growing this lump on her lip for a couple months. And a princess doggie shouldn't have a lump on her face. This is the first new vet for the doggies, but I've told them to be on their best military child behavior. They are already dressed up with their ACU bandanas on. :D

Then this afternoon I've got another interview with the last company I interviewed with, but for a different position. Sounds like it should be a good fit.

Tastefully Simple business is going well. Thank you readers who helped get me off to a good start. Now I need to work the parties and meet more people here. But I really am having a blast with it.

(No change on the status of the house in Middleville. Except that we can't pay the mortgage now.)

Catch ya later!

Christmas is coming!

Well, the in-laws have to get here first, before Christmas gets here. I am very lucky in that I not only have a wonderful husband, but I also have wonderful in-laws. They'll be here in a few hours and should be here for a week. We are planning on doing hiking and enjoying the outdoors and taking in the local scene.

I'm not done with Christmas shopping. I am waiting for enlargements to come in. (Sorry to spoil the surprise, Mom and Sister. It's OK. They usually get something I took a picture of.) I need to figure out how to wrap an AR lower. Do I find a box somewhere or do I cover every inch, trigger and all, in paper? (And Jack Bauer bought it himself. There is no surprising Jack Bauer.)

But I am really looking forward to our first Christmas together in three years. We probably went overboard getting an 8-foot tree, but we've got the space. Nice to have the house decorated. I didn't do any decorating while Jack was deployed. I think there are greens in everyroom, including the bathroom. (I just use the branches from bottom of the tree that had to be cut off to fit into the stand. I spread them around the windowsills and tuck them in the top of hanging pictures.)

So the job front. Looks like things are on hold until after New Year's Day. Not surprising. Working people are taking time off, and when they are able to get to their desks to work, they are thinking about what's in front of them, wrapping up what is absolutely needed.

No change in news on the house-selling front. It will sell. One day.

My Tastefully Simple business is going well. I had my Blast Off Party this last week. It was a great deal of fun! And while I was hoping to get more bookings, I knew the chances of that happening from the group of women there was slim. I'd already asked them. Best I can hope for is to make them repeat customers and convince them to host a party some time down the line. Thanks again to many of my readers who are now my Tastefully Simple customers. I've signed up to go to the Regional Conference in February. If you are interested in getting on my e-mail list to learn more about the wonderful, easy-to-prepare (add no more than 2 ingredients to get gourmet food) products, please e-mail me at butterfly.wife.life AT gmail.com.

So that's what's going on in my life. If I don't "talk" to you between now and Thursday, have a very Merry Christmas.

Following in her father's footsteps

Now that Jack Bauer is an engineer, Moo seems to want to follow in her father's footsteps.

She is digging up the backyard looking for them insurgent mice.

Awww. Isn't that sweet?

(Until I have to try to sell the house, that is.)

Insurgent Mice Attack Camp Toenges

Early Saturday morning, a rogue faction of the insurgent mouse group Miki al-Meese invaded the grounds of Camp Toenges. The rogue faction dug in deep in an effort to evade Camp Toenges security forces, but to no avail.

CPT Moo Dog, the ground force commander, was able to smell the insurgents immediately. "They smell bad," CPT Moo said through the use of a translator. "They are outside all the time and don't clean themselves, so they are easy to pick up on."

Once spotted, CPT Moo rooted out the vermin from their position and had them on the run. They holed up under the cement sidewalk. CPT Moo had them cornered.

Unfortunately, CPT Moo failed to utilize unit standard operating procedures by not calling in the RDT, rodent disposal team. Fortunately, HH6 Butterfly Wife was also in the AO and spotted this infraction. HH6 BW, as she prefers to be called, counseled CPT Moo to cease and desist as her action were on the verge on violating Article 92 (failure to obey a lawful order) of the UCMJ-D, the code as it applies to dogs.

CPT Moo, dedicated in her efforts, had to be forcibly removed by HH6 BW. Once returned to the TOC, HH6 BW further counseled CPT Moo, who persisted in her efforts to return to finish off the insurgent mice. HH6 BW reminded CPT Moo who was in charge and that she was being insubordinate. CPT Moo finally gave up her efforts, and crashed defeated on the TOC floor.

Throughout the mission SGT Bear remained asleep in quarters.

Glad I ain't selling my house

Wow! After yesterday's maket tumbles, I am sure glad that I am not facing the sale of our house this year. Hopefully, there will be something of a recovery by this time next summer.

I can always dream.

And work on getting my house in the best shape possible.

The Decision: He Stays

Well, since I told you yesterday that Jack Bauer and I did an interview with local TV, I suppose I should tell you that was in part about our decision for him to take that next assignment in Iraq.

So that's what we decided: He stays. Orders have not been cut yet, so things could change. But that is the path we are going on.

He does not think he will be able to come home in between assignments. The unit is active duty, arrived in June and is scheduled to return stateside next August.

I have gotten a number of interesting questions about this from civilians. Here are a few:

• Will you be joining him? (As if he were in France on a business trip.)
• So he's getting a promotion?
• So he's getting a raise, a bonus?
• Why can't he negotiate some of that?

Just in case you were ever doubting the general lack understanding about military life and culture by the vast majority of our countrymen.

Of course, this means that I need to reframe. I have boxes packed already. I think I just need to keep packing. Now I have 13 months to do it. Hopefully, the housing market will turn around a bit between now and next summer.

The End of the Month

Another month is ending. Several months ago, I was waiting for April to get here so I could start marking off the days of my MLB baseball schedule. Now the calendar is half full of big blue "X"s.

And Jack Bauer has given me a date when he thinks he will be home. I am working on remembering to live this chapter of my life as it occurs, rather than worrying about the next chapter that is not written yet.

Well, I've got a whole heck of a lot to do in the next 2 1/2 months to get this house in shape to (presumably) sell when Jack Bauer gets home. I'll try to keep you all up to date with what's going on as "the end" nears.

A Library of our Personal History

Well I've started packing. I started with our books. Jack Bauer is a voracious reader of history, politics, and military related material. And he likes to keep books. I like to give away my books so there isn't much there I would classify as mine.

But this is housecleaning. Reduction is household goods. Somethings will have to go. I have to decide what stays and what goes. How do I decide what is really important to Jack Bauer?

The Dogs of War - stays. Federal White Collar Crime - goes. Black Hawk Down - stays. Secured Transactions - goes. Emma - stays. Adult and Pediatric Pathophysiology for Nurses - goes. Books on Reagan, Adams, Franklin - stay. Various (other) Fredrick Forsyth paperback novels - go.

I am keeping all books on the military and war-related nonfiction.

It makes me anxious thinking that I could be throwing away something that he wants to keep. But it is time to move on from our old ways and the books that trained us.

I quickly filled up 3 small boxes and made a trip to Lowe's for another 10. I better get back to work.

Adventures in Real Estate . . .

Well, I met with our real estate agent last night to see what needs to be done around the house to sell it when Jack Bauer gets back.

Oh my. It is a long list. Of course, it was nothing (mostly) that I did not already know.
- Clean out gutters
- Scrape paint around basement windowsills and repaint; same with decorative window in attic and back door frame and kitchen window
- Put down gravel around bushes in front of house
- Clean windows
- Replace chewed up siding on garage
- Clean out basement; paint
- Sell all of Jack Bauer's tools (yes, I have permission!)
- Clean out outside drain at bottom of steps to basement
- Paint hallway and stairwell
- Have bathtub reglazed
- Paint chipping paint in bathroom, including tile
- Paint various places throughout the house to touch up cracks in paint
- Paint kitchen
- Fix kitchen drawer front where cheap covering has peeled off
- Clean out upstairs storage area
- Pack, pack, pack
- Organize, organize, organize

I will need to sit down and come up with a plan and execute it. Not "kind of" execute it if I am so moved, but really do it. I don't want this house to sit empty waiting to be sold or for me to be stuck here waiting for the house to sell. And horror of horrors, I certainly don't want the house to sell for less than what we owe! That would f*&^!ing suck!!! (Excuse my language.) But that is a big motivator.

I guess I had better get busy!

And if anyone has any suggestions/hints/ideas on how to do any of these things, please, PLEASE comment or email me.

I NEED HELP!

The Woes of Home Ownership

Last summer, in typical midwest fashion, we had some pretty bad storms and a few shingles flew off the roof. Depending on who I asked, I either needed a whole new roof or I needed the shingles to be replaced. Needless to say, I chose the replacing of the shingles option. The roof just isn't that old.

The same guy who came to repair my chimney said he would do the shingles too for just a little extra money. Not a problem I thought back in NOVEMBER (yeah, it took me fro July to November to find someone who would tell me straight up that I just needed the shingles replaced)! Hello! It is MAY! And he just did the shingles yesterday. Why couldn't he have done this 20-minute part of the job back in November? Despite my repeated phone calls to him and multiple messages left for the last 6 weeks since he finished the chimney job, he just was apparently not going to make me a priority until I got him on the phone directly.

Yesterday, he also did all the internal plaster work as well. So all I need to do is pay him and be done with him.

The thing of it is that he seems to have done great work, but I would be hestitant to recommend him due to his complete inability to return a phone call.

Why do I as his paying customer have to do all the communication work in the relationship? Arrggg!

But more importantly, I have another HUGE housing project crossed off my list. And it only took 10 months!

Getting Ready for A Girls' Night Out

I am getting ready for a girls' night out and after running errands and Pilates earlier, I jumped in the shower and after a few minutes, I realized there was all the wonderful afternoon light coming in bathing the room. it was wonderful! It has been a long while since I showered during daylight hours. Oh . . . that was nice.

Weeds

Yesterday, while I was out cleaning up the backyard (that is doggieness business), I noticed that some of the really big weed trunks (yeah, I let them get that out of control last year) were tilting severely and even pulling up the dirt a bit. I have been dreading, and I mean DREADING, dealing with these weeds, and have obviously been putting off dealing with them for a very long time. So I thought I would give one of the little trunks a pull and see if it would come up whole. It did and with hardly any effort. I tried another; same thing. And then another and another. In about 2 minutes I had all the dreaded weeds out of the ground. It was amazing.

And to think I spent all that time and energy thinking about dealing with something when it was actually so simple to solve. I guess I can check that off my list of things to do.

New Insurgent Threat in Middleville

A Spring offensive by a new insurgent group has started in Middleville. While Camp Toenges continues to be thretened by a ruthless group of insurgent squirrels, a new threat is forming. This time, the threat is able to pentrate the perimeter of Camp Toenges by coming up directly through the earth. Fortunately, Camp Toenges is well protected by its special forces trained doggies Moo and Bear. Moo and Bear have identified the new threat and seem to be keeping it at bay. They are also assited by small flying winged creatures with specially designed tools to capture the new insurgents individually. Moo's preferred method of hunting the insurgents is to create a large whole in the ground where the insurgent was last seen. Her technique does not appear to be as successful as that of the winged creatures. Nonetheless, Moo is doing her part to make sure these dirt dwellers do not threaten Camp Toenges.

I have not seen these dirt dwellers, but I fear they may be a formidable opponent. While the doggies and the winged creatures may be able to keep this new group under control, I predict the yard of Camp Toenges will suffer the greatest damage.

Camp Toenges Remains Secure From Insurgent Squirrels

I love my dogs. They are great companions and I (perhaps foolishly) feel more secure with them here. But the only things that they are protecting me from are the squirrels that freely roam and terrorize our neighborhood. A person could walk up to the screen door and they get excited because they have a visitor. A squirrel across the street is cause for sounding the woofing alarms!

So JD, don't worry about us at here at Camp Toenges. We are safe from the reign of terror caused by the insurgent squirrel cells of Middleville.

I'm Moving???

Well it is possible that JD and I and the doggies and the kitty will be moving before, during, or shortly after his arrival back from Iraq this fall. GBear over at Spouse Buzz posted a link to a website that helps you take an inventory of your house. I am not the most organized person so this could be really helpful. But it requries downloading software and I am not prepared to do that until I get my new computer out of fear that the current one go up in smoke.

Perimeter is Secured

When Moo sees something on the other side of the fence, she likes to dig. Luckily, she is just way too big to get out of any of the holes she's dug, but it is a pain in the ass to fill. Our backyard is pocked with filled in Moo-dug holes. Last week she dug under fence sufficiently to get at the neighbors bulbs, which hopefully won't actually be missed by the little old lady who spends all her time gardening. Hmmm. Somehow, I think she'll know exactly what happened.

Today, Moo was at it again. And I had to repair the same hole twice. I obviously did not do a proper job the first time. So the perimeter of our little piece of the earth (Camp Toenges) is secured . . . for now.

I need to remind Moo again that before she digs, she needs to call 1-800-DIG-RITE. "It's the law." Do you think she's going to get us in trouble?