Friday Fun Fact

You have probably already figured this one out about me.

I like to be a wee bit naughty from time to time.

Here is a naughty and outrageous stunt from my long ago high school days.

One Friday night while I was a junior in high school, my friend (I'll call her Shelly) and were sitting around her bedroom bored and wanted to see how far we'd go. You know, double dog dare and all. We devised a plan to take place in public that would make people stare at me and wonder if I was for real. Shelly didn't think I would go through with it.

The look had to be just right. Big hair (it was the late 80s), heavy black eye make-up, super short skirt (I could pull that off then), shredded black nylons, and the highest heels we could find. And no super slutty look would have been complete without some dark sunglasses.

Next, we had to have the right car. Shelly's mom drove a 1988 Nissan 350Z, white with red interior. Perfect.

As we got in the Z and drove to the chosen location, my heart started to race. "Will I actually be able to pull this off?" I wondered, anxiety beginning to set it. Within a few minutes, we pulled into the shopping center. Game time.

Shelly peeled into the lot of the 7-11 and slammed on the breaks and we screeched to a halt intentionally crooked taking up at least 2 spots. I could see heads were turning already in the store. I exited from the passenger seat, calmly, strutted into the convenient store with a list of 3 items to buy.

There were about 10 customers inside and I was hoping my interaction with them would be minimal as I gathered the requisite trove. First up, gum. Easy enough. I spotted some Big Red, my favorite.

Next, condoms. Having never purchased condoms before (let alone had a need for them) I strolled through the aisles looking for them. On my second pass, I found them and picked up Trojans (what else).

Lastly, cigarettes. As if the condoms weren't bad enough, I know had to ask for cigarettes and get the order right. Being a nonsmoker at the time, I had never bought cigarettes.

"Marlboro Lights 100, please," I requested in my most confident adult-like voice.

"Excuse me?" replied the 20-something clerk behind the counter.

"Marlboro Lights 100," I repeated slightly indignant hoping that would lend a more confident air about me.

The clerk grabbed a pack from rack and asked if there was anything else. "Just these," I said as I laid down the gum and condoms. He rang the purchase up, I paid, and strutted out the same way I came in. Heads were still turning. I got back in the Z and Shelly peeled out.

We laughed the whole way back to her house. We threw away the condoms, gave the cigarettes to some smoker friends, and enjoyed our Big Red.

Friday Fun Fact

So last week I told you that I cannot keep a secret. Well, here's another thing I cannot do.

I cannot tell a joke.

Sad, pathetic, I know. But I simply cannot do it! If my life depended on it, I would die.

Of course, Jack Bauer finds this terribly amusing, and busts out laughing every time I even try. Hmmm.

Friday Fun Fact

"Can you keep a secret?" When asked this question, my response should always be a resounding, "no." Because I cannot keep a secret. Or more accurately, I have trouble keeping other people's secrets.

It began when I was about 2. I went shopping with my mom and my sister for beer glasses for my dad for father's day/birthday/whoknowswhatday. Before we entered the house, I was explicitly told not to tell dad what we got him so it could be a surprise and that we needed to keep this secret. Apparently with great enthusiasm at the prospect of having a secret, I immediately ran into the house and told my dad he was getting beer glasses and that it was a secret.

I have never lived down this incident.

I do have a problem of saying too much. If you want something to be kept in my confidence, I need to be explicitly told so. Although as I have gotten older, I do seem to have developed some skill to talk less and thus not blab. As much.

What can I say? I like to share. :o)

Friday Fun Fact

**language alert**

I love to curse. This does not mean that bad words are flowing out of my mouth just because I can use them. But a well-placed expletive can really drive home the message. My boss yesterday was saying that he got really upset in a meeting and said "fuck" in frustration at what he and our group were being asked to do. Me being ever the word consultant, I told him that since he doesn't say that much, the recipients should get the point that he was very upset.

IMHO, cursing is overused and inappropriately used, drawing away the power of the words. For example, in the first season of the Sopranos in the episode "College", there were two coked-out losers being asked to whack Tony. One of them smartly decides that is a bad idea, but she tells the the guy asking in a most peculiar way where to go: "Fuck you, fuck wad." It came off as ridiculous, which was probably the intention of the writers. But my point is that using a phrase like that in everyday setting is too much, and lessens the umph of the word.

I tried watching HBO's Deadwood once, and only once. Within the first 10 minutes, they had used "fuck" so many times, that the word had completely lost its meaning. What's the point? I found that so aggravating I couldn't watch any longer.

All that said, the grand f-word is my favorite word in all the English language. It is certainly one of most diverse words we have. It is used as a noun, a verb, an adjective, an adverb, a command, and probably everything else that I cannot think of at the moment. (I would give examples of each but that seems like overkill. You got the point.)

So there you go. An army wife cursing like a sailor.

Friday Fun Fact

This week Jack Bauer and I did an interview with a local news TV news station. It was our second. OK. So they mostly wanted to hear from him, but I got a few words in. They interviewed Jack via Skype, but I insisted on meeting at a local park. The house is just toooooo messy to have anyone over here. (My cleaning lady is out with a broken leg. Ouch - to her and me!)

Friday Fun Fact

Just cuz I am on vacay doesn't mean that I am gonna skip out on the Friday Fun Fact. Here's a good one.

Since my LASIK surgery in January, I can almost always be seen with a pair of Maui Jim Makaha sunglasses on my head. If I am not wearing them as eye protection, then I am wearing them to told back my hair. I wear them usually first thing in the morning until late at night, long after the sun has set. (Although I don't think I've actually worn them to bed. Not yet anyway.) I'll take them off twirl them around, play with them, adjust them so that my hair looks just right. This is something that I have never done before as I always wore glasses. I love my sunglasses. :D

Friday Fun Fact

I was telling a friend that I hate pictures of me because I never look how I feel.

When I got my MacBook, someone suggested I play around with the PhotoBooth. I had a great time taking pictures of myself because I could make all the faces I wanted and no one was going to complain. I love it. One of the features in PhotoBooth allows you to make all sorts of the distortion like you might see in a hall of mirrors at a carnival. But my favorite is the one where it places the left side on the right. A mirror image.

I snapped a picture this way that was a little off center and distorts my features just enough so that my face appears wider than it is (yeah, I don't actually have a double-wide nose or a double Hapsburg lip). I then ran it through a couple of different filters and voila! A picture of me that I really like, partially because I don't recognize physical self in it. In fact, I like it so much that it is my wall paper. I showed it to my mother when she was out here; she seemed very disturbed by it and just said it was bizarre. Hmmm.

The reason I think I like this picture is the butterfly appeal. Same on both sides. My hair is like my wings. The grittiness of the quality. The soft lighting. The longer I look at it, the more I identify with it.

Bizarre? Yeah. But that's just me.

Friday Fun Fact

It is the little things in life that make it great. Here's one of the little things that makes me smile every morning.

I love the sound my Cuisanart Toaster Oven makes when I switch it off while it is beeping, indicating that it is finished with the toasting cycle. It makes this dying beeping noise. And in order to get it make that noise, I have to turn it to off at just the right moment, otherwise, there is no cute little cartoonish sound.

*beep*beep*beep*beeprrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrmmmmmmmmmmm*

No greater way to leave for my commute to work than with hot food and a smile on my face.

:D

Friday Fun Fact

I love, love, love fiestaware. I love the colors. I love the design. I love the shapes. I love their practicality.

The newest color being issued is Evergreen which looks like Juniper, which was in limited release several years ago and which I collect. Hmmm. I assume that there will be a noticeable difference, otherwise, there will be problems with the collectability of Juniper. (Oh, the problems I have!!! LOL!)

But I have a ton of it. And we are looking at a probable move in 3-4 months. What's a girl to do? Invest in packing materials! What else!

Friday Fun Fact

Jack Bauer is a wonderful husband. And for my birthday he got me this lovely necklace. So if you see someone wearing this necklace, it could be me.

And by the way, it is Tiffany. What can I say? I am spoiled!

Friday Fun Fact

I turned 35 last month.

Friday Fun Fact

I almost forgot to publish a Friday Fun Fact!

Let's see . . . I am sitting here with my MacBook on my lap, my feet propped up on the ottoman, and the first thing I see when I look up is . . .

Ah. My feet.

I wear a 10.5 AA shoe.

Skis. That's what I got for feet. A PITA really. Luckily, I grew up near the largest Nordstorm's women's shoe department. Nordies started off as a shoe store and they have remained dedicated to providing excellent footware. If you have an odd sized foot, go there. Their shoes are online too.

Friday Fun Fact

I like to wear JD's Blackfive t-shirt to sleep in. Feels like I've got the protection of the milblogosphere.

Friday Fun Fact

The other day I mentioned that the deployment bracelet is part of my personal armament. I wear that bracelet on my left wrist along with my Adrienne Vittadini square-faced silver watch with black leather band.

On my right wrist I wear a very precious piece cuff. It is silver, worn with generations of polishing away oxidized layers of the gray light metal. It is a southwestern Native American (probably Navajo or Hopi) stamped design of feathers and a swastika representing the whirling winds. My mother-in-law gave to me several years ago. She grew up in Arizona just south of the Grand Canyon. The cuff was her mother's (JD's grandmother). It was the first gift JD's grandmother received from her husband-to-be. It dates back to the 1920s or so (pre-Nazi Germany and the abduction of the symbol).

When I wear it, I feel like Wonder Woman. It empowers me to carry on the strength of some very determined women who have been part of my husband's family. Now I am one of them.

Friday Fun Fact

I have worn my hair long, very long for years. The last time I had it short was in 1994 when, in a very bad move, I decided I wanted to have hair just like Marisa Tomei in Only You. Not a good look for me. I was gaining weight at the time and, needless to say, I don't have Marisa's bone structure.

Since then my hair has been at least chin length. A couple of years ago, when I was not caring for myself so well, my hair cuts were getting further and further apart and thus my hair was getting longer and longer. I decided that if I was going to keep letting it get this long, I might as well do it for a good reason other than as a source of holding onto my own insecurities. I decided that when I was ready I would cut it off and donate it to Locks of Love, a charitable organization that makes wigs for children with long-term hair loss.

So back in December I cut my hair and made a 12-inch donation. In cleaning and shaping of a new style, we probably had over 13 inches removed from my head. Yes, that sure did lighten my load, both physically from the removal of the weight and metaphysically too, removing all the toxic times that hair had seen. Mind you that with the new cut, my hair is still shoulder length.

Friday Fun Fact

Having worn glasses since 3rd grade, my vision was horrible and I was legally blind without corrective devices. So when I hit puberty about 10 minutes after getting glasses, it was a painful and insanely awkward childhood. When I was 12 I tried contacts, but I could never get over the whole sticking-the-finger-in-the-eye thing. My pediatric ophthalmologist told me that when I got older I might be a good candidate for corrective surgery, which at the time was radial keratotomy. As an undergrad, I did a research paper on RK. And I learned about a more promising corrective surgery on the horizon using the excimer laser. The laser was not approved for use in the US so I would have to wait, first for FDA approval and second for my vision to stabilize.

And after years and years of waiting, a few months back, I finally took the plunge I had LASIK. My "wow moment" was the next morning when I got up, stumbled to the bathroom, peeled off the plastic medical tape holding on the clear eye shields, and slowly looked in the mirror. I blinked a few times and saw something I had never seen before: Me, without glasses. I started to cry.

It was truly amazing.

Friday Fun Fact

I have 3 tattoos. They are all available for public display (i.e., they are not in private areas).

Friday Fun Fact

I like to make faces.

:-D