Texas Road Rules

1. Don't drop your cigarette when forcing cars off the road.

2. When traffic on an interstate highway comes to a complete stop due to accident/construction/armadillo crossing, you are free to drive off the side of the road and on to the service road, but only because you all drive Silverados.

3. Because you drive a Silverado, you have the right of way. All the time. Regardless of other perceived rules of the road. Especially in the parking lot of a Wal-Mart. It is perfectly acceptable to drive the wrong way and play chicken with a dorky Honda CRV from some other state. Dipshits should have known better than to mess with Texas.


4. For those 5 people not driving a Silverado, beware of tumbleweeds. The small ones could get caught under your car. The large ones will take out your car, especially since it is bigger than your Toyota Solara.