Worry, Laugh, Cry, Repeat

JD is "traveling" within Iraq, i.e., he is not at his home cot. This means that I don't get to hear from his a much as I usually do, and I don't necessarily know when he will be available for IMing. I accept that. But it makes me more anxious.

A few weeks ago the phone rang and I did not recognize the number on caller ID. In the 5 seconds between the moment of seeing the number and the time I answered the call, I lived a lifetime. I was instantly convinced that this was a "bad" call telling me something had happened to JD. But then I became remarkably calm. I stared at the phone thinking that regardless of whoever it was calling to tell me whatever, I needed to answer it and accept reality. Sometimes just when I think that all this coping mumbo-jumbo I spout is just that, I have a moment like this phone call where it all seems so real, that I have actually integrated this stuff into my life. I surprised myself.

I guess the counseling is working.