Tuesday, October 16, 2007

I promise I am not a freak OR I'm just your kind of freak

Sarah posted this over at her blog. LMAO! That being my JLo-sized "A". :D :D :D :D

Your teeth are fine.

Dear Butterfly Wife,

I have no idea what you're talking about with needing to whiten your teeth. I certainly didn't notice that when we met. I was too busy feeling like a fool because I couldn't figure out how to read the menu at the coffee shop. I can never read coffee shop menus, and since I didn't want to look like a dunce, I pretended that I didn't really need to eat any breakfast. So I starved and then made my husband take me to a gas station on the way home and get me some food.

I didn't notice your teeth, I just noticed that my husband, who generally doesn't like conversation with anyone, seemed to be having a good time talking to you about Iraq. That's an awful big compliment in his book.

And you're wearing make up in Vegas? Crap. I am so out of my league here.

Oh and also, the weight thing? Hogwash. From reading your blog, I expected you to weigh 300 lbs when I met you. You look great. Don't be so hard on yourself.

Can't wait to see you again in Vegas!

P.S. You need to copy this post and put it up on your own blog so your readers can hear somebody saying that you have nice teeth and a normal sized butt. They're going to picture you as a freak of nature if they go by your description of yourself.

So there you go. I don't weight 300 pounds and my teeth are fairly white and straight (thank you junior high braces). And I wear make-up. And I even shower once in a while. And I wear clean clothes. Not so much of a freak.

Geez. I guess I'll just have to post pictures from Vegas. More proof that I actually exist.