Monday, October 15, 2007

"I've missed you."

Before Jack Bauer and I started dating, we were very good friends. Of course, I was madly in love with him from the day I met him, but it was not meant to be at that time. So we were friends. And I tried so hard to never let him know how I really felt about him. Ahhh. I was young.

At Christmas one year, I went home to my parents to celebrate the holiday. After a few days apart, I sent him an email. Simple. "Hi, how are you? Having fun with the family here. Blah. Blah. Blah." But then I closed it out different than I might otherwise have.

"I've missed you," I wrote.

And apparently that is all it took. Later, he told me that when he read that simple sentence, he knew I liked him more than just as a friend.

Those words -- I've missed you -- mean a lot to me. And I think about them frequently now that he is not at my side.

When this deployment first began, I thought I would not utter them. Instead hold on to them and save them for the last moment. As if they would have some super magical powers that would rain down balloons and confetti when they finally slipped my lips.

That notion lasted only a couple of weeks. I had to tell him I missed him. I couldn't not tell him. It would have been like lying not to tell him.

And to you, Jack Bauer, I've missed you.