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Monday, April 30, 2007

My Something Hurts

Every so often my something hurts. Maybe it is monthly and hormone related, but it is a very comfortable sensation in my neck and chest that comes with an unattached anxiety. Something is off and I cannot identify whatever it is. I have come to recognize that this something is part of my free-floating anxiety that I have dealt with probably my whole life. I've spent so much time without it now, that when it does come, it causes a physical pain.

So what do I do about this? I think the biggest step for me is to acknowledge what it is. Realize that I am feeling off. Understand that I am not feeling bright and bubbly. Consider my words more carefully lest I lash out at someone with my shortened temper.
Second, I breathe. I breathe into the physical space this negative energy is occupying. I also read from one of my little secret books.

Breating in, I calm my body.
Breathing out, I smile.
Dwelling in the present moment,
I know this is a wonderful moment.
I'll repeat this several times today focusing on my the physical act of breathing and my posture - the location of my shoulders, the straightness of my spine, my feet touching the ground. This makes my something hurt a little less with each breath. And it only takes a few seconds to do. We'll just have to see how I am doing at the end of the day.

The secret little book today is "Present Moment, Wonderful Moment: Mindfulness Verses for Daily Living," by Thich Nhat Hanh (yes, again, still - what can I say, I like his works).