Today: A Much Better Day . . . Almost

Today is much better than yesterday. Yesterday I was woken up by the phone. A soldier in JD's unit was severely injured and his mom was calling. I am her FRG phone tree contact.

OK. I gotta vent on this. (I'm not really a bitch, I just play one on the internet.) This mother has been a little difficult for me already. But don't get me wrong, I feel very bad about her situation - she lives alone in a rural area, few coping skills, no family except her 2 sons, one son deployed and the other on the way. But when you throw in the mix that she was career military herself, that she repeatedly turns down offers from her sons for a computer and internet access because of some preconceived notion about some troubled kids she occasionally has in her home, but complains about her sons' lack of communication, it can be difficult to muster up a lot of sympathy for her. From talking with JD about it, the sons feel like their mother is choosing to these troubled foster kids over her own flesh and blood going off to war. I tell you this as background lest you think that her state of mind at the time I tell you about below is just "upset and not thinking clearly". She's never thinking clearly.

But this is what woke me up yesterday. Her son was severely injured (broken leg and 2 fractured vertebrae without any signs of paralysis) and she couldn't cope. I was as gracious as I could be. She wanted information that was sent out in the last newsletters. Over a week ago, I got a call from her saying that she couldn't find the last newsletters but knew she had read them. So first thing this past Monday, I mailed her another set after confirming her address. I mentioned that the information she needed was in those newsletters, and her response was, "Oh. I haven't been able to make it to the Post Office this week." (See the window? See the sympathy leaking out?) I pulled up the electronic versions and reviewed them and read her the pertinent parts. 95% of the information is online, which of course she cannot access.

I did what I could to reassure her about what is going on with her son, but I mostly listened. I was able to get JD on skype so I could ask him a few questions and relay the information to the mother. I mentioned that her son was going to be going to Germany and then maybe onto Walter Reed. She freaked! "Walter Reed? He can't go to that horrible place!" I wanted to reach through the phone and choke her. I think I made it pretty clear that she needed to get her facts straight and know what she is talking about. But if she did not want her son to get world-class medical care . . . *Sigh* This is just one little piece of a lengthy conversation filled with similar moments (like how she might go out and get a passport that day so she could get to Germany - I had to talk her through the logistical problem with that let alone that we do not know how long her son would be in Germany).

After interrupting this call (that she made to me) several (at least 4) times to take other calls, her phone was going dead and she wanted to have enough battery power to be able to talk to the Red Cross, which she had stuck in her head as the organization that would be doing everything for her (including flying her son out of Iraq). There would be no convincing her otherwise until she talked to them directly about this.

I got off the phone and IM'd with JD for a while, then did my Saturday morning things, including Pilates. But it was clear that I was not in a good mood. I ran my errands and sent JD a care package. Hours later, I was still feeling pissed off.

Getting on to early evening, I decided the nice thing to do was to call this mother back and see how she was doing. She had talked with the Red Cross and her son and was doing generally better.

And I actually felt better too.

That is until she called me back this morning. Actually, I still feel better, but since I am venting, I will continue to do so. She called me while I was writing this post, concerned that she had not heard from her son since yesterday. And she wanted me to pump JD for information. Information which he does not have because the people caring for her son and busy caring for her son or other sons and cannot give 5-minute updates to the company commander. She just has unreasonable expectations. She has forgotten what Army life is like (I neglected to mention that this woman was career Army herself including a direct commission officer).

Here is a tidbit from our conversation this morning.

HER: "I have 5 different religions praying for me. Do you think that will help?"

ME: "Yes, I am sure it will." When I am actually thinking, "Praying for YOU? How about praying for YOUR SON?" That may have been what she meant, but it certainly was not what she said. You see, it is all about HER. What is being done for HER, why is this happening to HER. I told JD this and his response was, "No wonder her sons want to go to Iraq."

Anyway, about 10 minutes into the conversation, she said she is having a problem with interference with her phone and needs to call me back, which I took to mean within a few minutes. That was over an hour ago. Good thing I am not doing anything today. Oh wait, that is my life waiting for me out there. Arrrggggg!

When she calls back, I will be polite and speak nicely through my clenched teeth and tell her what I can to calm her down. Then I will vent here again.