Monday, January 21, 2008

I'm tired

I think I am tired in every which way it is possible to be tired.

I am physically tired. I've started working out more often and more focused. I am trying to get to bed at a reasonable hour and sleep for a reasonable length of time.

I am intellectually tired. I am working on staying focused at work on some very complex, multifaceted concepts that make the war on terror seem simple and straight-forward. But I am intellectually challenged for most of my wakening day.

I am emotionally tired. I may be PMSing, but I am drained. And I haven't been keeping up with my blog reading that keeps me connected to people who understand and gives me the emotional support I need.

I am deployment tired. I am tired of IMing Jack Bauer; I want to be able to have regular conversations with him where I get to look him in the eye. I tired of shopping by myself; I want to run errands with Jack. I am tired of being the only one here to let the dogs out when they get woofie; I want Jack home to share the burden and for him to make sure that the doggies and I get walks like we should.

I am tired trying to balance of this teeter-totter. I think I just hit the bottom. Time to readjust and get back up in the air to see how long I can balance this time. I will say this, though. Every time the teeter-totter of my life hits the bottom, I learn something about myself. Even if it is as simple as recognizing that I am hitting the bottom.