Construct Destruction

Ever have something happen to you that you really couldn't explain? So then you create your own reason for why it happened? And then believe that reason for 25 years only to have it dispelled over coffee with a girlfriend?

Well that happened to me this past weekend.

I was out to lunch/coffee/chatter time with girlfriend when we were talking about her work. She has recently completed a certification program in gifted and talented education. She is a very bright woman, but she was telling me how she got labeled in primary education as a "dumb kid". Needless to say, she is not dumb by any stretch of the imagination. So I told her about how I got into GATE when I was in 5th grade.

You see, I was sick (with who knows what - probably starting my period for the first time, but that is another post) while we were doing state standardized testing. Instead of something like 3 days of testing, I took 1 day. I knew that they drew the GATE students based on these test scores, so when I was called to participate, I figured there had to be a mistake. I mean really, how can you pick a student to be in GATE after 1 day of a 3-day test??? That just had to be a mistake.

So I proceeding through the rest of my education, believing that the reason I got labeled as a "GATE" student was based on a mistake and I was going to have to work harder than everyone else to hide that mistake. (Wow, I just realized right now that this is what I did. I guess AWTM is right about this therapeutic stuff, huh?) I took advanced classes throughout middle school and high school believing in this mistake. I did well in school, don't get me wrong (and I am trying not to brag here - so please don't take this as bragging), but it never seemed like I was smart enough. Of course, that was all in my head. I realize that now.

Fast forward to the present day ...

So I tell my girlfriend this and she looks at me kind of dumbfounded.

I was like, "what?"

GF: Um, I hate to break it to you, but that was no mistake.

BW: What do you mean? Of course, it was.

GF: No, it means that you must have done phenomenally well on that one day of testing if that was the primary basis of the decision.

BW: (brow furrowed, lips pursed) Hmmm. But I have been telling myself that it was a mistake for the last 25 years.

GF: Sorry to break it to you, but you were wrong.

And there you go. I had this whole little construct created to explain that part of my life. Now it is gone. Hmmm. Is it really possible that maybe, just maybe I have been "smart" this whole time?

Anyone else ever have that kind of experience, where a personal myth was crumbled lickety-split???